You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
