all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
