i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
