You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
