the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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