remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
