3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
this is an emotional support booty call
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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