I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
