i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Let's get the cat blown out
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
