You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
