Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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