Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
