The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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