its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I have aggressive nipples.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
