You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
