Are we in a gay sports bar?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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