I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
