Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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