She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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