He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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