operation harelip BJ is a go
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
