I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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