I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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