I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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