I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
