I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
