did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm just crazy horny about you
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
