Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
