how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
