like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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