you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
