hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you never un-have a 4some
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
