we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
