It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
