I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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