Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i will never coherently bang her
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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