you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
