hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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