I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
