if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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