you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
