I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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