I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
worst night to have a conscience
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
