I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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