his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
