sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
