They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
