I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
