My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
