you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
